Of Munching and Licking...
I may hurt many people out there with this blog, but this is the least I can do for them. But I really hope that it brings about a change in some of you.
One of worst things you encounter in your daily life, other than those countless hassles and troubles, is the way an edible item is eaten. I say edible, because these days, we see lots of inedible things ( like humans!! ) being eaten. I know, you may argue that humans are also edible, eaten by the carnivores, but im talking about things eaten by humans ( which recently, have come to include humans too!! ). Before I start beating around the bush, let's get back into the crux of the matter.
So, as I was telling, one thing which irritates me and many others is the way food is eaten. The table is one place, where you can expect a cacophony of sounds to arise. I know you are thinking im mad, but the next time you sit at the table, just notice the plethora of sounds around you. Rest assured, you will hear different sounds at varying levels of pitch and frequency, leaving out the noise created by the fan, the clock and all such irrelevant things.
You are hungry and you start eating with all the voraciousness, and lo behold, a small squeaky noise, which increases with respect to time, comes from a place next to you. That guy, opposite you, will be licking and sucking his fingers and hand with such ferocity and intensity that you will lose half your appetite. You try blocking out the sounds and I assure you, it's so tough that pigs may even start flying. And the worst part is, as soon as you notice or listen to the sound, and turn your head in that direction to see the wondrous spectacle, you get a throbbing in your head and you start gnashing your teeth. However hard you may try, there is no way that you can lessen the volume. This guy, much to your horror, then cleans up his plate, just by taking whatever is there in the plate and licking his fingers to get rid of them. And im sure, by this time, you'd get the feeling to get up and leave the place.
The same guy, starts eating something crunchy. I accept that the item being cruchy, it does produce a certain amount of noise while eating, which can be minimized by just closing the mouth and eating. So, at the start , when the guy has just started eating, you get a grinding noise, a deep grinding noise, like the noise a starting giant wheel produces. You start getting a headache at this point of time. Your troubles have just started. As our hero gets adept at eating the crunchy thing, the sound is different, bigger, nastier and so on. You get the sound of a drill machine being operated, or rather, the grinding sound that comes out of a quarry. The noise is so loud, mediocre that you have this sensation that you would have been somewhere else rather than here. Of course, professionals in this field have a remix kinda thing where they mix and match licking and munching, and believe me, that's too tough to endure and you may as well go to Auschwitz.
Im not targeting anyone in particular, and this is only a humble attempt to bring some consciousness among people to eat with etiquette. You may be well dressed for a party and you may have all the affable qualities and you may mix well with people, but if you go wrong in the way you eat, it may lead to disastrous situations.
And of course, a loud belch after the whole orchestra would be an icing on the cake...
One of worst things you encounter in your daily life, other than those countless hassles and troubles, is the way an edible item is eaten. I say edible, because these days, we see lots of inedible things ( like humans!! ) being eaten. I know, you may argue that humans are also edible, eaten by the carnivores, but im talking about things eaten by humans ( which recently, have come to include humans too!! ). Before I start beating around the bush, let's get back into the crux of the matter.
So, as I was telling, one thing which irritates me and many others is the way food is eaten. The table is one place, where you can expect a cacophony of sounds to arise. I know you are thinking im mad, but the next time you sit at the table, just notice the plethora of sounds around you. Rest assured, you will hear different sounds at varying levels of pitch and frequency, leaving out the noise created by the fan, the clock and all such irrelevant things.
You are hungry and you start eating with all the voraciousness, and lo behold, a small squeaky noise, which increases with respect to time, comes from a place next to you. That guy, opposite you, will be licking and sucking his fingers and hand with such ferocity and intensity that you will lose half your appetite. You try blocking out the sounds and I assure you, it's so tough that pigs may even start flying. And the worst part is, as soon as you notice or listen to the sound, and turn your head in that direction to see the wondrous spectacle, you get a throbbing in your head and you start gnashing your teeth. However hard you may try, there is no way that you can lessen the volume. This guy, much to your horror, then cleans up his plate, just by taking whatever is there in the plate and licking his fingers to get rid of them. And im sure, by this time, you'd get the feeling to get up and leave the place.
The same guy, starts eating something crunchy. I accept that the item being cruchy, it does produce a certain amount of noise while eating, which can be minimized by just closing the mouth and eating. So, at the start , when the guy has just started eating, you get a grinding noise, a deep grinding noise, like the noise a starting giant wheel produces. You start getting a headache at this point of time. Your troubles have just started. As our hero gets adept at eating the crunchy thing, the sound is different, bigger, nastier and so on. You get the sound of a drill machine being operated, or rather, the grinding sound that comes out of a quarry. The noise is so loud, mediocre that you have this sensation that you would have been somewhere else rather than here. Of course, professionals in this field have a remix kinda thing where they mix and match licking and munching, and believe me, that's too tough to endure and you may as well go to Auschwitz.
Im not targeting anyone in particular, and this is only a humble attempt to bring some consciousness among people to eat with etiquette. You may be well dressed for a party and you may have all the affable qualities and you may mix well with people, but if you go wrong in the way you eat, it may lead to disastrous situations.
And of course, a loud belch after the whole orchestra would be an icing on the cake...
posted by Sudarshan J at 12:46 AM
3 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I can clearly see that your thoughts are flowing and good to find your English keeping pace with your thoughts. However, I think with this blog, you have gone beyond just expressing your views, to blasting some people out.
The table manners & eating etiquettes all came along into India when Englishmen established there presence here. Before that there were no rules. We have got education & company that makes us aware of these things - the way we talk, the way we eat, the way we behave at the table.
We have millions of people in India who haven't had the education, leave alone the privilege of learning the eating etiquettes or table manners. There are millions of people in India who are struggling for life, to have 1 square meal per day. The thing on top of their minds certainly can’t be “eating etiquettes”. How would we feel if an Englishman blasts us apart (the way you have, in your blog) for the bad English & accent that we Indians have (in general)?
Overall, it is good to see that you are trying your best to create awareness about how irritating it can be. But how many people of computers, internet connection, and electricity? Let’s say, we have had superior education, better company and awareness about more things than our previous generations. We probably also have more knowledge, different habits than those who are uneducated. Let us not write them off, because they didn’t/don’t have the privilege (awareness) about certain things.
hi..
we all are prety aware f that fact u like eating..
and its understandable tat u get pissed off when some1 disturbs u while ur eating.
so,i guess u might hav written this in that frustrated mood.
neways, ur points are well taken.
Post a Comment
<< Home